- Acts 9:18
I had a bad weekend. I went to church, made an origami dragon, went on a bike ride, and checked my email, but the rest is a bit blurry. I wasted a lot of time watching TV and movies. I spent a lot of time hiding from God. I think I was reminded of my insecurities, freaked out and hid behind the bush, hoping God wouldn't find me, and see that I was ashamed of my state. I realized I was naked. I bought the lie.
I'm in need of an origami lamb. I want to balance out with truth my spiritual dilemma. I'm convinced when you give the enemy a foothold, he'll pry himself in. I believed I was not worth the trouble. The dragon ran with it. Where is the Lamb to say otherwise?
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
- 2 Corinthians 5:17
Who understands this scripture? Has anyone in the twenty first century felt like a new creature? I want desperately to get this. I've felt glimpses of it, an unsettling shimmer of glory rise in me... Am I so quick to fall "out" of Christ (you know, no longer "in Christ")? Or am I just taking it all too literally. "Yes, you are a new creature, but you'll still have the sinful nature..." I don't want to buy that. I need to believe there is serious transformation, the kind that produces miracles and prophecies and healings... like in the first days of the church, when Jesus said we "would do greater things than these" (John 14:12) and they did.
I guess this is my next big step. I want to get this. I need to. I refuse to be complacent in my faith. I want the Abundant Life promised. I want to see things as they really are. I want to see the scales fall from my eyes and dismiss once for all the lies that I'm not worth it, that I need to take care of myself, that it is better being my own God.