"My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.
"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
"If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.
"These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full."
Did you catch it? Jesus speaks first about the Father's glory! Why mention it if it is not central to His message? Jesus is most concerned not with us abiding in His love, but with the Father's glory being recognized; it just happens to be that He has planned for His Glory to be seen through our abiding love in Him.
The Abiding Love is not the END. It is the MEANS to the END! What good is it to teach the mean as being the end when it is not supported by Scripture and does not bear much fruit (I have been taught for twelve years that it's all about our relationship with God and that He loves us, to no avail... I've been only slightly influenced to abide in Christ as a result and that has only been out of pride to do the Faith thing better... it looks a lot like me earning my keep more than God serving me)?
We need to teach that we have an incredible God, far greater than we can comprehend and that if we were to go before Him in judgement, the verdict should be frightening. Then we should teach that there is no hope us according to anything we can do. Nothing we accomplish for God should foster a sense of propitiation in us. All service to God is filthy rags, including those commands straight from Jesus that sound great. Then we should teach that God, first as reflective of His Glory, shows mercy on the depraved and serves us by making communion with Him possible. Then we should teach that it is out of both gratitude and fear (for God remains wrathful) that we gladly accept the new nature in the spirit, empowered only by the Spirit, and that we should be conscientious to keep in our thoughts that all is possible only when God acts, not us. This teaching rightly remains focused on God's centrality and sovereignty. It does not even hint at the possibility of us having any power, for we do not (apart from God). And it is offensive, as the gospel should be.