Reflective Thoughts as of Late

Here was the thought that permeated my mind Sunday morning that I just had to write down lest I forget it.

The only thing that shakes me out of my self-centeredness is not ponderings of my relationship with God but increasing awareness of God's Glory.  My relationship with God can still be all about me.  Recognition of His Glory, of His Intensity, drops me to my knees and I'm compelled to love Him accurately and obey His Kingdom design to represent Him to others through love.

Then, during the sermon, I watched the faces of my fellow congregants as my Pastor spoke on our identities' foundation being God's Love.  He prefaced the sermon saying this was one of the most essential truths needing to be understood by the Church.  The faces of those listening throughout the sermon, for the most part, were not filled with anticipation of affirmation of thought, as if they just needed to be reassured God loved them, so they could then go out and live properly.  They, for the most part, were not on the edge of their seat soaking up anything they have never heard a thousand times before.  

God's love is foundational to understanding our identity as Children of God, as Christ's representatives for the Kingdom, as ambassadors of reconciliation.  God's love has no meaning if we fail to understand who God is!  The only thing that makes me comprehend God's more true nature as loving and gracious and compassionate is when I understand that God should slay us all for our inadequacy compared to Him.  Moses would have surely dropped dead if he beheld God's presence face to face.  

I hear how great God's love is for us.  If I don't understand the Glorious, Horrifying Might of Him who acts in lovingkindness toward undeserving sinners, but rather view him like my biological father, I would quite think God's love is a waste of time and not worth the heart-ache.  Not as if my biological dad is a scumbag (he is not); he simply does not offer a love that inspires me, nay compels me, to die for the world to know about it.  His love is not that big.  God's love is that big, however, but not if we fail to grasp who He is.  

My pastor used John 15:8-11 as a proof text for his point but passed right over the most central point of it:

"My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.

"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.

"If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.

^"These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full."

Did you catch it?  Jesus speaks first about the Father's glory!  Why mention it if it is not central to His message?  Jesus is most concerned not with us abiding in His love, but with the Father's glory being recognized; it just happens to be that He has planned for His Glory to be seen through our abiding love in Him. 

The Abiding Love is not the END.  It is the MEANS to the END!  What good is it to teach the mean as being the end when it is not supported by Scripture and does not bear much fruit (I have been taught for twelve years that it's all about our relationship with God and that He loves us, to no avail... I've been only slightly influenced to abide in Christ as a result and that has only been out of pride to do the Faith thing better... it looks a lot like me earning my keep more than God serving me)?  

We need to teach that we have an incredible God, far greater than we can comprehend and that if we were to go before Him in judgement, the verdict should be frightening.  Then we should teach that there is no hope us according to anything we can do.  Nothing we accomplish for God should foster a sense of propitiation in us.  All service to God is filthy rags, including those commands straight from Jesus that sound great.  Then we should teach that God, first as reflective of His Glory, shows mercy on the depraved and serves us by making communion with Him possible.  Then we should teach that it is out of both gratitude and fear (for God remains wrathful) that we gladly accept the new nature in the spirit, empowered only by the Spirit, and that we should be conscientious to keep in our thoughts that all is possible only when God acts, not us.  This teaching rightly remains focused on God's centrality and sovereignty.  It does not even hint at the possibility of us having any power, for we do not (apart from God).  And it is offensive, as the gospel should be.  

Divine Appointments

I was preparing research on a Bible Study that I'm doing soon for  2:9-23, listening to John Piper's sermons that cover this text.  Well, in one of his sermons, his context regarded the amendment of his church's bylaws concerning alcohol consumption of members.  He focused on verse 16, and compared Alcoholism and Legalism.  It sounded completely irrelevant to the direction I sense God wanting to take His church currently (since Piper's sermon was delivered in 1982), but then I started to listen to some of the descriptions of his concern over legalism vs. alcoholism.  Piper spoke on concerns that legalism strived to improve moral righteousness by human means as alcoholism encouraged blatant immorality through its lack of effort.  An underlying theme was that of legalism was more dangerous than alcoholism because it aims to attain righteousness, in the guise of God's will, but it is entirely of the Deceiver, since Man's attempts at fulfilling Law are always failure to actually succeeding.  Its cloaked appearance of honorable intention blinds people of its danger.  Then an interesting thought crossed my mind.  

What if Satan has shifted his strategy?  What Satan once did with Legalism, he now does with the relationally-focused, freedom-perverted "gospel" we now teach at our pulpits.  He no longer tries to force us into having tunnel-vision righteousness as practiced by observing strict religious laws; he makes us feel righteous by having us think our God is altogether like us (Psa 50:21), accessible through relationship and quick to ignore our sins, since Christ died for them already.  

I have serious problems with thinking the freedom God gives us through Christ is in regards to our preferential lifestyle choices!  I know we ignore Paul's words in Romans 6:1 when we think we are free to do anything other than loving God and our neighbor RADICALLY.  

As far as God's approachable nature: He is approachable and we can and do have relationship with Him.  That is not the whole picture, however.  We say all the time that God never changes, but most of us do not believe that.  We read the graphically violent, obsessive zeal of God in Exodus, Joshua, Judges, etc., where He slays thousands of Egyptian firstborns, hundreds of Egyptian soldiers, and commands His chosen people to leave none remaining in the land... we read it and dismiss that God remains that way because God is Love.  We fail to think critically that perhaps the love that we addictively affix ourselves to, is not a relationally-focused, "God is my best friend" kind of love.  

How many of us consider the Love that God is has not us as its subject, but God Himself?!  

God is most concerned with His own Glory and acknowledgement of His splendor FAR MORE than He is with how "healthy" our relationship with Him is.  

My fear is that if we do not start to address this in our teaching to the Church, the vast majority of believers will remain deceived and be utterly shocked the moment they appear before the glorified Lord, and not in a good way.  Why else do you think the apostle John fell to his face before Christ on Patmos when receiving the Revelation?  Why did Joshua fall on his face before the Commander of the Lord's army?  They were scared to death of their inferiority compared to Christ glorified.  

The Glorified LORD convicts Man of his utter depravity.  

When we think God is altogether like us, one who is strictly gentle and loving to us foremost, as we are to ourselves, we worship a false god.  

The true gospel is not freedom from sin to do as we please and abounding grace for our failure to engage God's commands.  It is not new-found relationship with God.  The true gospel is that there is a God so magnificently Glorious that He was compelled to express it through a created universe and that despite knowing the creatures He designed to bear His image would become completely corrupt, He chose to allow it to happen nonetheless so that the intensified display of His Glory may be seen by all, as He poetically works His sovereign might to correct it all through the work on the Cross, cursing His begotten Son to death, that the whole world may know that He is God and He will spare those that believe all that He truly is, none less.  

The true relationship and outpouring of His mercy and grace is found only as we recognize our place in creation, as He reveals it.  This is the only hope we have for salvation.  Anything that deters from it is false doctrine, intended to deceive and lead people astray from the commands God decrees for His creation, to love and adore God and express it to those around you, that they too may be fortunate enough for God to reveal Himself to them too.  

This post is titled "Divine Appointments" because I trust God orchestrated my listening of Piper's sermon with just that tiny little nugget of insight regarding legalism to help me connect Legalism's similarity to what we do now in holding fast to the presumptuous Relational Approach of the Faith.  We think by working on our relationship with God, we are fulfilling the Will of God, as if Man can do that.  We have deceived ourselves to think this is God's intent for existence.  We think we are charged to work at growing closer to God and growing closer together in unity, because we see descriptions of it is Scripture.  But we fail to see with "God's Glory" lenses that it is all about Him and His ministry to us, for Him to accomplish all of the unifying, all of the increasing intimacy with Him.  

To think we are capable of accomplishing anything of value in our own merit - even to label our own merit as God's empowering (when it is not because our perspective/motives are wrong) - is to cheapen the value of the Cross of Christ and dismiss the value of the grace which flows from it.  How dare we rather trust in our own fruit, which appears before the Lord as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).  How dare we preach anything that exalts our power to accomplish anything for the Kingdom apart from God doing it through us, His instruments.  How dare we attribute our own fruit as God's, further deceiving ourselves of our false doctrines' validity.  Is that not false humility?

I trust as God divinely appointed my listening of that insight, He will divinely appoint your reading of my post.  Seek God and ask for His insight on your life.  The consequences are too dire otherwise.  

Counting the Cost

For the sake of history, I think it would be beneficial to comment where and when this post was written, to put it in context.  I started my Seminary education right after my last posting, at the end of January.  I'd use the excuse that I was too busy to write my thoughts until now, but from past experience, you can clearly see this is not the first time I've gone months without writing.  Anyways, I've been studying intensely, meditating more on the things of God than I ever have before.  I'd like to say that the forced nature from Seminary is proving to be of most benefit, but I cannot.  It is solely because I want to learn - I want to grow closer to Christ - that I am getting so much out of my experience.  Classes are one thing, but being devoted to fellowship and spiritual education outside the classroom has proven monumental in my growth.  The last post is proof positive of this phenomenon, and it has only continued.  

I hinted above on what I want to talk about.  I owe this train of thought to my mullings over what my Monday night Theology group spoke on last night, and the chapter in Mere Christianity entitled "Counting the Cost," which I gladly steal from Lewis for my own editorial.  Here it is:

What if Christians today are not at all obeying the will of God, but have settled for a lie, a less glorious "half-truth yet lie none the less" kind of lie that the Enemy is quite satisfied with us buying into and God is quite grieved in one sense but patiently gracious as well?  Let me explain.  Galatians 5:1 says "It was for freedom that Christ set us free," and so naturally, that is a truth we Christians love to identify with and rightly so.  The problem though, is we need to take that truth in context and fully understand the implications of that.  Paul continued by saying "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery... For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF" (Gal 5:1, 13-14).  You see, we hear "freedom" and think cool, I no longer have to toil and strive after doing good religious things anymore, because that not what saves me, Christ saves me... I can just relax and do whatever, and God's grace will cover my wrongs.

Can you see how some of that is true but it's taking liberty (pun not intended, okay but I'll take it) where it has no right and ignoring the biggest implication of the true freedom we were given?  

Yes.  We no longer must toil and strive after doing good religious works.  That's a glorious spiritual fact because of what Christ did on the Cross.  He broke the yoke of slavery, which is the power of sin from failing to observe the Law of God.  Christ fulfilled the Law for us and imputes his righteousness on us, granting us freedom from having to toil in vain.  

No. We cannot just relax and do whatever!  The word from Paul follows with the imperative to serve one another through love.  When we do not follow through with the freedom we were given, we are in the wrong and it is to spit in the face of Christ; He has swung wide the prison bars and removed the shackles, only for us to sit down in our cells and act as if we are free, yet practicing none of it.  

This begs the questions, why don't we live out our freedom? And what would that even look like if we did?   Both are legitimate questions.  First, such a great gift not fully utilized and received should well be and that it isn't raises concern for the actions of those who opt not to.  And second, since so little truly utilize the gift, it is hard to know if the risk is worth it.  I think that is the main reason why; it still involves risk and that scares us.  As for the what it would look like?  We see it in scripture.  Look at the early church.  Look at missionaries who are completely insane for Christ.  

Did you pick up on the problem?  When one seriously looks at the early church as depicted in Acts and the Epistles, and as you read how cannibals ate the family of John G. Paton and yet he was still compelled to share Christ with them, you get a sense that this freedom granted to us doesn't really look like freedom, at least not according to worldly, secular standards.  This is Paul's account of hardship:  

Are they servants of Christ?--I speak as if insane--I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.  Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches. Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without my intense concern?

Why? Why?!!! Why in the world would a man willingly go through all of that?!  It's madness... according to the world.  But to one set free, who truly knows his freedom to be a "resurrected-with-Christ, fully redeemed and made new creation in Christ, mature and perfected human as we were intended to be and designed as such from a sovereign God" kind of person, all that hardship is pure joy, because it is the work of God.  

This gets to what I read in Lewis.  He brings up the scripture on Jesus' command to "be perfect" and interprets it quite literally, as I do now too.  Lewis says Jesus meant "the only help I'll give you is help to become perfect. You may want something less: but I'll give you nothing less."  Lewis continued to explain that we are really quite satisfied with being decent, but dread the pain and work of going all the way, using the analogy of a toothache, and wanting aspirin to dull the pain, but not wanting the dentist in the morning to solve the problem.  The whole chapter develops the thought, and to regurgitate it all would be silly, just read it yourself.  

It is the problem of our church.  We bought the lie that convenience and comfort are at our disposal, ordained by God, nay the blessing of God, when really it is a snare of the Enemy.  It is proper to bring up the argument that the Scriptures regarding all their persecution and hardship is not relevant anymore, since Western culture adopted Christian thought as the standard norm.  That argument falls apart when you consider Lewis' position, that we in our sin nature are depraved and can always progress farther toward Christ's image.  Again, read at least the chapter "Counting the Cost," for I can do it no justice.   Also, if we were living in freedom, don't you think we would have more impact on a lost and dark world than we currently experience?  Paul and his companions converted a continent.  We Christians look just like secular society with our HDTV football after church, satellite subscriptions, iPhones and BMWs.  Of course, I grossly exaggerate some of the wealth concept of the Churched.  But Americans still love their conveniences and comforts, Christian or not.  

Do we American Christians get out and drive the homeless man off the street, bring him into our homes, bathe and feed him and share the hope of the Gospel, the gift of Freedom to live fully?  Or are we too afraid he might swipe our credit card when we're not looking, or stain the sofa?  Do we American Christians freely give our assets to fund missions and to support the poor, or are we too concerned with our 401Ks depreciating in value?  Do we have the audacity to think we one day on this side of Heaven should rest?  Do we shine a warm light of hope to orphans?  Do we invite widows to our spare room?  

I am as guilty as the rest.  That's why I write this; I feel incredibly convicted.  This is Lewis closing remarks in that chapter: 

The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible.  He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command.  He said (in the Bible) that we were "gods" and He is going to make good on HIs words.  If we let Him - for we can prevent Him, if we choose [okay, Calvinists have a different take that they were never a part of this group] - He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness.  The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.

The Majesty & Sovereignty of God

I'm sort of at a loss of words.  I'm doing pretty much nothing of significance for God, and yet He continues to reveal to me a more full picture of Himself.  Let me start by asking some questions to spark the thought process in you.

What is the purpose of life and this created universe?  Is it to live a happy life?  To be successful and make money?  Is it to raise a family and continue the species?  

I guess I'm assuming you have a Christian perspective and believe God created the Heavens and Earth (and all in this Universe).  That being said...

I think at one point in my life, I would say those potential answers I gave had weight.  At least that's what is pushed on us by culture, the consensus from others what we decide the purpose is.  I have a new take on our purpose for existing.  Track with me.

God existed before this universe did, right?  I believe He lacked nothing.  Scripture says He never changes, so the Creation of us and everything else didn't add to God or fulfill any need He had.  He was perfectly satisfied with what He experienced with Himself.  I won't claim to hold Absolute Truth comprehension on all things.  That being said and not knowing His reasons, God created Angels and the Heavenly Realm.  Lucifer, the worship Leader, was probably His first creation.  What Scriptures tell us, we can trust Lucifer challenged God's authority to rule and reign over what was created at the time.  Maybe perhaps he saw how cool he was and got self-absorbed (pride).  Whether angels have free will or not, I can't grasp, but tradition tells us the challenge was made.  I don't know if that was of Lucifer's own accord or God's.  

So the scene is set. To recap, we have God being His cool self, probably out of His creative nature, set up the Heavenly Realm with Angels and such, and a challenge for His throne by Lucifer, the super attractive, worshiper angel.  

How does God choose to settle the conflict?

And God said, "Let there be light..."  Enter Big Bang, the formation of this Universe, the Earth, plants, animals and His crown accomplishment, His Image-Bearing Masterpiece, Mankind.  

Who knows what Ephesians 3:10 says?  Well, let me tell you.

"The manifold wisdom of God might now be made know through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places."  

Does the Church seem like a likely means for God's wisdom to be displayed?  We have dwindling numbers, and it seems like the only thing offered these days at a Sunday service is a feel good, self-esteem boosting, guilt-satisfying session of "Quality of Life" enhancement.  

Life's purpose is not to improve our quality of Life.  If it were, God would not kill children by means of cancer.  Think about this.  What if it isn't supposed to be about us?  This fits what's taught in Scripture.  Jesus never taught, "Make sure you take care of yourself, get yourself established, then help others."  In fact, Jesus emphasized we need to die to self (consider whatever is of selfish benefit to yourself a poison), saying things like we'll gain our lives when we lose them.  

"Okay, so what?  What's your point?"  is what you might be thinking.  My point is I've never been more excited about my faith than when I started to grasp these concepts.  

God is HUGE.  The meaning of Life, the means to survive this madness of existence I am finding in the Majesty and Sovereignty of God.  I don't have to beat myself up anymore about how sinful I am because it isn't about me.  On top up that, it is precisely because I'm so depraved and pathetic that Ephesians 3:10 comes to life to me.  If such a screwed-up group of creatures like human believers is what God chooses to show His Wisdom and Authority, as He works in us, transforming us, He MUST have a pretty cool plan for us.  God is going to prove to Lucifer (or Satan) just how much more qualified He is to reign, even with the biggest handicap one could have... US!  

I have heard the response to all this, "Well, does that mean we are just some big chess game and whether we die or not is of no consequence?  That's a messed up view of God."  I started to feel that way when all this started to be revealed to me, but then I realized I was losing focus again, thinking it was about me, and not God.  Here is how I reconciled the "screwed-up"ness of it all.  Did God have to create us to cast judgment of Lucifer and settle the whole thing, or could He have just spoke the word and Satan vanquished?  He chose to include us in knowing of Him, to enjoy all the splendor that is Him.  What about those going to Hell?  Let me answer with what the definition of sovereignty is.  "Supreme power especially over a body politic; freedom from external control" (Merriam-Webster.com, 2a-b).  Are we to tell God what to do?  He answers to no one.  We cannot externally control Him with our judgements of what's right and wrong.  Our concepts of right and wrong originated from Him and were skewed by our Fall from Grace.  If He chooses to hate some, and love others to show just how much He loves them, who are we to judge Him?  I see but one rational choice.  Not to be angry with God, thus making a relationship with the one that offers salvation to those who believe more difficult.  No, my choice is to begin to try and grasp all He is, trusting His word is true that all who believe in the name of Jesus will be saved, and as I focus on Him, and not myself, I'll see God continue to move on this Earth, revealing his Beauty and Love, grateful He chose to reveal Himself to me through the Church, humble He might use my words in this blog to reveal to its readers they too are chosen and accepted by Him... only needing to believe.  The sacrifice and suffering He calls us to seems worth it when my eyes are fixed on his splendor.

"But being full of the Holy Spirit, he [Stephen] gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; and he said, 'Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.' But they cried out with a loud voice, and covered their ears and rushed at him with one impulse.  When they had driven him out of the city, they began stoning him... They went on stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!'  Then falling on his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, 'Lord, do not hold this sin against them!'  Having said this, he fell asleep."

Acts 7:55-60

An Intimate God

Yesterday I participated in baptism. I had the honor to declare my faith before my fellow Christ followers and sojourners by standing up and sharing my brokeness and dependence on Jesus to restore me. I anticipated the old man to wash away and the Spirit give me a new divine touch. I expected his presence.

And I was not disappointed.

Requesting to not be brought up right away, I had a moment under the water to "bury" the selfishness and independence. I truly felt the pride of the Father on me as I arose anew.

To top it off, I helped baptize a young man I work with and mentor! To top that off, I left the water and another client wanted my help in understanding how to do this "God thing!"

It's as if my Daddy wanted to blow my mind away with his favor. He is so close!

Do you know that? What keep you from believing there is a God full of love that is crazy about you? There is a lyric from Jason Upton's song One Step Away that speaks volumes:

My God how I long to see you now.

And something in my heart tells me somehow You're one step away.

A distant sound is hard to hear even a sound as loud as thunder

A distant heart is full of fear a distant soul has lost its wonder

Sometimes it's hard to hear your voice, my God

Is the reason why you're whispering because You're one step away?

Maybe God is one step from you in distance and if he spoke aloud instead of a whisper, it would be like a crack of lightning and thunder, too loud for human ears!

Oh, please get to know the Lord! Listen for Him. Ask Him to show up. He does not disappoint ever, and if you think He does, tell Him and argue with Him and discover how good our God is as He draws you into his love and acceptance!

The God of creation accepts the broken. Do mask your frailty. Take it to the cross and find new life.

Okay. That's good for now. Call me if you want help working your thoughts/fears/doubts out.

Love,

Michael

New Creation... Adjusting to the Light

"Give me eyes to see and ears to hear"

It is a fascinating thing to become aware. When was the last time you stopped and watched people? Could you see into their soul or did that not even cross your mind, how those people really were?

I really watched people today. At church, I noticed a handful of attendees with arms crossed, as if the posture would ward off others. A natural response I once would have had is to judge them and become sad or frustrated that they were part of the problem in the church, not willing to receive God and the Body. Today I saw past myself and my needs (for a fully alive people of God) and saw the reality of eternity. God has his hand on all. He was moving even in the guarded. I'm certain of that because they were there, at church. Yeah, they left right away as the service ended, but nonetheless, God was there and moving and teaching the lesson of his grace as we practiced our expression of love and devotion.

I appreciate Donevon's attention to the corporate participation of the Body as a worship offering. We as one agreed to meditate and sing out our praise for the grace God gives. That helped me receive a joy from God I haven't readily accepted in a while, almost like my new self in Christ has more senses than what's normally experienced.

I'm adjusting to the Light, able to see God at work. Able to see into souls. Conversations take on new, deeper meanings. Alert, all things seem okay because God is big enough to be in it all. That's the source of my joy. Notice I didn't say happiness because it isn't happy to look into a sorrowful soul. But joyful it is because pain can exist in joy and still be good. Joy is God present.

I'm seeing that now.

The Park Bench

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I knew if I went back to my apartment, I would just waste the day, so I went to the park after church. I ate lunch, called my mom to wish her the best and say I love her, people watched (imagining the little boy by the water alone would fall in and need rescuing... what can I say, working with troubled youth you expect the worse) and read a little. It was then that I sat on the park bench reading when Mary sat down. She was there with her daughter and son-in-law. Those who know me best understand that "outgoing" isn't the first word to use when describing the person who is Michael. But here I was yearning for something a little more real, a little more connected than what I've settled for in the past.

I asked Mary what she thought about Christianity.

She was very generous in her response, and we continued to talk for a good half hour or so. You see I've been troubled with this aspect of Christianity that demands attention. People view Christianity as harmful, self-absorbed and unappealing. The church experience became a product that people simply aren't buying. Mary hadn't bought it. I shared with Mary my views on how the Church Jesus desired to set up was more a gathering in fellowship and community, not a spectator's entertainment on a Sunday morning. There's something much more attractive about a group of people willing to sell all they had to meet any need one may have, to truly be there for one another in love. That's not the image the current church holds. The church today is more a building and a consumer's experience than it is the "out-called ones" of faith in a gracious God.

These thoughts of mine originate from greater minds. I finished The Tangible Kingdom by Halter and Smay, and I began UnChristian by Kinnaman, both dealing in their own unique ways how the current model of church isn't shaping a Christian into a very effective witness to the love of Jesus Christ.

A confession: I've been a church attender for about eleven years. And save maybe the first year in my naive zeal for Christ, I have done very little to nothing at all to witness and minister to others outside the church attending crowd. My reason is simply because I'm ashamed of the church and hold little faith in its ability to change lives. My sister, for example, would probably only step foot in a church if someone was getting married or kicked the bucket. There's not much a church service could offer her that would make her feel included and in need of their influence. And yet as a card-carrying member of the church product movement, recently-awakened to reality, I get that it's easier to shrug our shoulders at such people and continue to enjoy our worship sets and make the rounds to all our fellow follower-acquaintances.

Please don't get the impression I despise all church now and that we need to throw it all out as ineffective and irrelevant. In fact, there is a lot of powerful transformation happening in the lives of believers in churches world-wide. I have enjoyed connecting on a deeper level with others through attending house church an extra night a week, and it's led to increased fellowship and spiritual growth. My fear is that it's not enough. Until we bravely reach out and become inclusive of all people, the church cannot be what God designed. Jesus never set up shop in one town and advertised for people to experience himself for an hour and a half, and if it was your first time, make sure to visit out welcome booth in the foyer where you can pick up your welcome packet.

Mary believed in God but not in the people who claimed to know Him. It both hurts me and excited me to think I've been given the charge to help restore the image of God by living it right. It starts with an identity. And it strengthens with a courage to love, and not just those already "in."

My Job Can Be Pretty Cool

So I covered an extra shift Sunday morning. I missed church because I was working, but I didn't. For those that don't know, I work with troubled youth at a residential treatment center. I didn't miss church because I bring church to my young men. I have freedom to openly share my faith at work. It is a Christian organization, and I can't get fired for it... So instead of driving to a church, I held a Bible study for those that stayed back from church. We went to Romans 5 because I felt maybe God could speak to the boys through that chapter.

You know, the Word of God is pretty powerful. I shared with them the truth that there is greater power of atonement through Christ and his shed blood than there could ever be in the power of Adam's sin, resulting in the fall of humanity. Christ is more than enough.

I get paid to teach there is justification for sin for those who believe in Christ! How cool is that?!

What's probably the coolest thing is that these guys are actually being transformed. It takes awhile, since there is a lot of baggage to sift through. I think of one guy who actually remembered a story I told him on how God showed up for me when I needed some help believing, and he was paying attention during the study. It seemed like he was really taking it in... There are others who are so hungry for the Creator. I think they are starting to trust us when we tell them the Creator is an amazing Restorer as well.

Don't get me wrong... the job sucks at times. Like when they get a hold of vehicle keys and plot to steal the van to escape into Denver. They are targets. That helps me keep perspective. The Enemy doesn't want them to change, so he intices and tempts the "old man" in them all.

Father, spare them from the attacks of the Enemy. Help them to continue there pursuit of your truth, and romance them, Dad, with your intimate love.