Dragon Scales

"And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight..."
- Acts 9:18

I've had the thought this week that I share the problem with Adam and Eve . What was their problem, what did they do wrong? They listened and believed a lizard over the living God, the one that walked with them in the garden. First of all, how cool would it be to walk alongside God? I digress. I have this image that when Humanity's pioneers bought the deception, the spirit of the serpent (the Dragon), slithered into their eyes, forever changing their perception, our perception. Well not forever...

I had a bad weekend. I went to church, made an origami dragon, went on a bike ride, and checked my email, but the rest is a bit blurry. I wasted a lot of time watching TV and movies. I spent a lot of time hiding from God. I think I was reminded of my insecurities, freaked out and hid behind the bush, hoping God wouldn't find me, and see that I was ashamed of my state. I realized I was naked. I bought the lie.

I'm in need of an origami lamb. I want to balance out with truth my spiritual dilemma. I'm convinced when you give the enemy a foothold, he'll pry himself in. I believed I was not worth the trouble. The dragon ran with it. Where is the Lamb to say otherwise?

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
- 2 Corinthians 5:17

Who understands this scripture? Has anyone in the twenty first century felt like a new creature? I want desperately to get this. I've felt glimpses of it, an unsettling shimmer of glory rise in me... Am I so quick to fall "out" of Christ (you know, no longer "in Christ")? Or am I just taking it all too literally. "Yes, you are a new creature, but you'll still have the sinful nature..." I don't want to buy that. I need to believe there is serious transformation, the kind that produces miracles and prophecies and healings... like in the first days of the church, when Jesus said we "would do greater things than these" (John 14:12) and they did.

I guess this is my next big step. I want to get this. I need to. I refuse to be complacent in my faith. I want the Abundant Life promised. I want to see things as they really are. I want to see the scales fall from my eyes and dismiss once for all the lies that I'm not worth it, that I need to take care of myself, that it is better being my own God.

Encounters With God

Joshua approached the walled city of Jericho, eager to survey the land and develop a plan to take the city for the people of Israel. With a steady gaze, he assumes a fighting stance, at the sight of a warrior with sword drawn. What possessed Joshua to then fall to his face in reverence? The mighty general of the Hebrew Army came face to face with the Captain of the host of the Lord; he is better known as Jesus. Of course there is debate whether this man was an angel or a preincarnate form of Christ, the one and only Son of God. But my heart and Joshua's humility confirms it well enough for me.

Do you have encounters with God? Would you even have the eyes or ears to receive Him if you did?

I recently heard a story of a follower of Christ that heard from God. The message: Do a hand-stand. She was in a 7-11. Well, she obeyed and shocked the clerk. After inquiring why she did that, he disclosed his prayer to God that he was planning to kill himself if God didn't send someone into the store to do a hand-stand.

Do you doubt God's ever-present work in our lives? Are you willing to obey what He says if or when you hear Him?

I recently was going through a devotional called Experiencing God and was about to summarize my thoughts at the end of that day's message when my pen froze up. I scribbled for about 2 minutes, got up and pulled a new one from the package. Well, it too did not write, so a glanced down at the page and saw "I challenge you to review what you sense God has been saying to you on a regular basis. If God speaks and you hear but do not respond, a time could come when you will not hear His voice. Disobedience can lead to a 'famine of hearing the words of the Lord' (Amos 8:11-12)." I figured the Lord didn't want me to wrap up my spiritual time without "reviewing what [I] sense God has been saying to [me]..." I recalled the message to Ephesus in Revelation. "Return to your first Love... Repent and do the deeds you did at first..." Well my first-love deeds involve singing atop a chair, unashamed and focused solely on God and his Glory. That was back at the end of the eighth grade. That very moment, I got back on top of furniture and worshipped God like at first. Afterwards the pen worked fine.

My fear for followers of Christ, and for the world who needs to see and hear God, is that they see and hear Him all the time and don't recognize Him. I fear there is evidence upon evidence given that points to God's grace and activity, but humanity dismisses it as coincidence or psychic interpersonal connection or (fill in the blank). I am learning through Scripture that those who hear God most, who encounter God most are those who obey. I am guilty of hearing from God and blowing it off, only to wonder why my life has become so drab and mundane. I get it. I really do. Life is difficult enough to try to get by without relying on this idea of a Heavenly Creator who desires a relationship with you that will be void of any tangible interaction. "Why should I trust a God I can't see, touch, hear?"

You shouldn't.

Here's the deal. At least it's mine; I'm choosing it. Ask God to reveal Himself to you. You know what? He promises to give you all things that align with his Will. I'm pretty certain you knowing Him and trusting Him and relying on Him is in the scope of His Will. Anyways, ask. Ask and wait and be open to new encounters. I cannot guarantee Christ himself appearing in front of you with a sword commanding you to take off your shoes due to it being holy ground, but some stranger fulfilling a request in the form of a handstand... maybe. Or perhaps someone will tell you to read a scripture verse and it will open directly to it upon opening the Bible and the verse discribes what you're going through to the "T". That one happened to me.

You shouldn't trust some God that doesn't interact with you. But give Him a chance, and He will. You'll learn to hear His voice. My deepest prayer is that when you do begin to hear Him, you learn in the fullness of your heart and soul that you are loved. That you are no longer a sinner, eternally bound to continue to mess up things. But I hope you learn you are a Child of God, an heir to His Kingdom. That when you accept the covering of Christ's blood on your life, you are seen as blameless. Pure as snow. And I believe with all my heart that Jesus didn't lie when he said "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Do you want to see Him? I do, and I am beginning to. And it takes me face-down in reverence... like Joshua.

Michael

Another Graveyard, spooky ghosts and all!

Yeah, I'm doing another graveyard shift at work. The door down the hall has been creeking all night. I'm ready for bed, but got a couple more hours left. Trying to stay busy to not fall asleep. A little paranoid some boys are trying to do something behind my back.

An update, I'm a counselor now, have been one for quite a while. Keeping up with paperwork and trying to find time to meet with clients is hard. But I'm holding the line more, sticking to the rules. The kids don't like it.

I'm leading a trip to Nicaragua in a couple weeks. Not even! We leave in ten days. Wow. Okay, not ready, but that's alright.

Be right back, gotta check rooms real quick... Back.

Life is going by fast. It's mid-March. I haven't taken the GRE yet. I need to to see which colleges to apply for grad school.

But I feel I need to slow down too. It's weird. I'm doing what I need to do, but right now, I feel a little panicked. That I'm not getting things done. That I'm forgetting stuff, missing stuff.

Better go finish laundry.

Until May (most likely).

The working life

I have been at my new job for nearly two months now and just now am getting around to writing about it. I work at a boys residential treatment center in the mountains of Colorado. Technically, I'm a Child Care Worker as of now, but will eventually have clients to counsel, so then I will be a Milieu Counselor. I work four days a week, ten hours a day. Right now, I'm working overtime pulling a graveyard shift. We all get a couple of those a month so that someone can watch over the boys, since they need constant supervision. Most of the boys here are court appointed, either for drug/alcohol abuse or sexual offense.

It is the hardest thing I've ever done...

Within the first few weeks, I had already experienced my first fight break out. I was put in charge of watching twelve boys in a narrow kitchen for about an hour as the other staff and upper level (more responsible/reliable) boys calmed down and de-escalated the ones fighting.

Apparently I handled myself pretty well... if they say so.

A lot of the time I feel like I will never figure this job out, at other times the sense of dread subsides and it can be fun hanging out with the kids.

The first couple weeks were hard. I didn't know any of the rules, didn't know the kids and their personalities, tendencies... didn't have their respect and were constantly tested and manipulated. I still am sometimes, but it isn't as bad.

I had a review around day forty, and was told I need to discipline the boys more... to show I can manage the floor more assertively. I was screwed up the rest of the day emotionally. Call it insecurity. It was the first time in my life I wasn't above average at, except for minor league baseball... but who cares if you can't throw from first to third?...

The big thing in this field, in this setting, is the commitment. They want a year commitment. They give you three months to decide if it is a good fit for you. The boys doubt at first if someone is going to bail out on them... it really affects the boys the most, whether someone sticks around. They don't always have a lot of people in their lives who care enough to help them change. That part of the job excites me. The process is dirty, but the goal is noble. It's hard to keep that perspective each hour of each day...

Awake?

There are references in Scripture to a call or command for sleepers to awake from slumber. I can't help but wonder if that's not what's wrong with the world, both for followers and others. I don't know where the last two weeks have gone. Do you ever feel like you lost days/weeks/months/years? For me, I feel more alive when I'm close to God and I'm pursuing that relationship. The last few weeks, I haven't done that at all. It resulted in that sleepy feeling, like I lost that time to lethargy. I'm not advocating becoming an insomniac. I merely want to reflect on the need for intentionality. What drives us? Are we doing the things that are important to us? Or do we go with the flow, allowing the current to dictate our every move? I believe (no, I want to believe more strongly) the scripture that says to seek first the Kingdom of God and everything else will be given to you.

So my greatest concern right now is to get a good job, one that will work well with my desired career path, aka not Starbucks. I went into my move back to Denver wanting to trust fully in God, seeking him first, and trusting He would open doors for a truly amazing opportunity. Let's just say I'm not very good at fully trusting God. My question: what does it mean to abide in Christ, to be one with him, to draw our strength and abilities from the Vine (John 15)? How?

Okay, it's about time

So I moved to Colorado. It's as nice as I remember. Moving is hard though... I'm thinking specifically about furniture issues. I finally got my kitchen table that I bought like a week and a half ago. Got one the first time and it had screws sticking through the top of the table. Tried to pick up a new one and it hadn't come in yet (despite them telling me it was minutes before leaving to go get it). I finally got it, but I realized I wasn't having a good attitude about it. Well, my attitude was horrible with the customer service reps I talked to. Granted, our society entitles a customer to be treated well and taken care of well if they are wronged. But I was mean on the phone and gave people a hard time when they didn't deserve it.

It got me thinking. How much more enticed will reps be to help me with my table problems if I treated them with patience, tolerance, and kindness? I lost an opportunity to share Christ's love by acting like He would had. Instead, I made her day that much more unpleasant.

What would the world look like if Christians acted like Christ? What would the world look like if the Kingdom of God reigned over all?

We have a map of the World on our wall in the apartment. I thought how different it would look if humanity had never fallen... if God the Creator and the Lord Jesus directly interacted with us, and we were as we were intended...

I don't think there would be any borders. There may be to section off names of places, but there would be no division, no hostility, no war. There would by no means be government. Can you imagine a world where every leader was under the authority of a loving God?

Anyways, those are a few thoughts I've had lately.

The Christian Basics (at least my take)

Below are questions asked of me about my faith/religion/etc.

Faith:

What does it mean to be a Christian? Does it entail certain actions, beliefs, practices, etc? If so, what?

A Christian is one who identifies Christ as his or her means of salvation, but a devout follower is who further acts upon that relationship, believing they are in need of pursuing God more.

What is "faith" in God? What does it mean to "put your trust in the Lord"?

Faith in God is the belief that God will take care of the worries and hardships in life and death, that there is no need to control or manage the safety/security/comfort of one’s life.

Church:

Is church important?

Church is important in the sense that we are the Body of Christ, and without exposure to it, and participation in it, we miss out on the design that God intended us to experience.

How connected are the practices of attending church and your relationship with God?

Connected in the sense that one can experience/participate in a corporate worshipping of God, receive support, and provide service to God.

Why go? Why not go? What do we get out of church/what are we supposed to get out of church? (That question could get very idealistic, but lets stick to our actual lives and experiences)

We go because it keeps us rooted in the faith, serving as a reminder of what we believe, who we follow, why we need to look/act differently.

Devotions:

How do you connect with God? Do you remember any times when God has transformed you? (Connected: does God transform us? Are we supposed to be transformed? From what, to what?)

Through prayer, worship, listening, serving, & obeying. I’ve felt differently due to events God has orchestrated, changing my behaviors. The Holy Spirit has stirred new thoughts or feelings within me, changing my outlook and actions. I think God’s intent is to transform us from Prodigals to Heirs, from the pig trough to the Dinner Table, from the rags to the royal robes, from isolation to the embrace of the Father.

Why do you spend time with God? Why don't you? Does it need to be a rigid practice? (like praying/reading the bible for an hour per day)

I spend time with God to eventually accept the truth of my identity in Christ. I don’t because I fear that intimacy and don’t want to become vulnerable, and abandoned. Pride is a comforting distraction, sin appears absolutely logical and productive for survival. It never was designed to be rigid; those things become rigid with improper motivation. Do you want to work for your salvation or better know your loving Father?

What keeps you from God?

The fear and pride and comfort of sin.

What does the Bible say about this stuff? Is it right? (That 2nd question can go in a lot of different ways, but I generally mean, does what the Bible say about being close/far from God resonate with you - so yes, it is a personally relativistic 'right' in this case)

I would like to believe my understanding is based in Scripture, though I can’t say particularly where for specific examples.

Worship:

How do you prefer to worship God? (Singing, serving, etc. - be specific)

I prefer to worship, allowing the Holy Spirit be the music leader, directing its flow like a dance. Also, by thinking and speaking about the things of God with friends. Through writing, art, acts of kindness or becoming the servant.

Are there right and wrong ways to worship God?

It is not worship if it bolsters one’s ego and turns attention away from the Triune God.

Where is your worship life at right now? Aka, do you need to kick your own ass? (This presupposes a question: do we have to want to worship God in order to worship him? Do we have to have a right heart set? If so, how do we get to that place when we aren't there?)

To address the presumption, yes, one needs to desire to worship God to do so. One can end up at that heart’s place by two means: the Holy Spirit’s calling or intervention, or by intentionally seeking God’s heart, either through thought or action (but the Holy Spirit always plays a role in the enhanced richness of the worship experience – when communion with God is attained – despite what one believes he or she experiences).

So my Blog used to be called...

"Proof There is a God."

I still feel pretty inadequate, but I saw this documentary on the History Channel, and the evidence is legitimate. Check out the next airing if you can. I think it is awesome the way God can orchestrate all of it and it attests to the love He has for his people, an invitation that is still open to all. Granted, it is hard to digest the fact that people were killed as a means, but I have the rest of my life to figure that stuff out about God. My experience, and that's all I can unwaveringly attest to, says God is loving and faithful. Anyways... check out the Exodus Decoded... it is powerful.